I only went and fucking did it
Used to be a dream but now I fucking live it
Weren't even writing raps I was down
And out about to fucking quit it
Lucky for me that I fucking didn't
See lily came along
When I was at my lowest
Selling wraps of coke not the raps
I flow with
I made it and I owe to a chat
I had with her,
Who knows where I'd be if
That chat hadn't occurred
Back with the bag
With the bag full of herbs init
Instead I got her on a track
And I murdered it
My name started causing murmurs in the industry
But none of these labels would work with it
Until virgin did
Put my first single out and we earned a hit
That's why we never...
I know it must burn a bit
Just did a show and everybody
Knew the words to it
The day I risked everything for
I couldn't have given anything more
All these years...
But this is something that nothing
Could have readied me for
What you think all my problems are remedied
Cos' I get an applause, there not
Today I cried
And I don't know why
But today I cried
And I don't know why
My single went in at 3
My album went in at 2
For a debut not to shabby if I have to
I make do
Finally some form of reward for the things
I came through
But it's different to the perfect picture
People paint you
On the way up you might be a person
People take to
Then you break through and the same people
Who rated you hate you
All of a sudden anything you do may
Do may make news
And I'm sick to death of explaining
Was is and aint' true
Spend a day in my shoes
And maybe you would feel the same to
Though I know I've got to make the most of it
There will be no take 2
And ungrateful I would hate to seem
Cos' I'm leaving my dream now
But I don't sleep now
And all the hours awake
Are making me senile
Snap...
Even people I've been round my
Whole life are looking at me
Like I'm a new me now
They say I've changed but I just don't see how
I've always lived my life
Taking corners that I can't see round
Never knowing what it is
I'm trying to seek out
But I'm even beginning to question me now
Today I cried
And I don't know why
But today I cried
And I don't know whyyy (don't know why I crieddd)
I know it must seem mad to you
It's mad to me
All I've done is
What I've had to do
Been who I've had to be
But the path I've walked has been so gravely
It's been a strain to remain humane
Amongst all this inhumanity
Thankfully I had nan who
Was a mum and dad to me
You can choose your friends
But you can't choose your family
Temporary happiness for me has been a fallacy
...
Sick of hearing how happy I should be
I just don't know how to be
I can no longer pretend
No more making out to be
Maybe all I needs a slap,
Someone to shake it out of me
Help me to spell my irrational
Thoughts think more rationally
Sick of being in the state of vanity
It's agony
Am I torn or is it all some
Twisted form of vanity
Can it be I'm really just obsessed with myself,
Obsessive compulsive depressed
My pressures reflecting my health
Taking care of my career
But I'm neglecting myself
Rejected therapy no I just won't except any help
I pride myself on my honestly
But in all honestly today I lied
I was asked how I was
And I said I was fine, I'm not
Today I cried
And I don't know why
But today I cried
And I don't know why
